ARRR: A Guide to Building a Habit of Authentic, Daily Prayer

“Prayer is nothing else than being on terms of friendship with God.” —St. Teresa of Ávila

We are created in the image and likeness of God—and God Himself is a community. God is a living, loving relationship of three Persons in the Trinity. In a profound way, our lives are meant to reflect this communion. We too were made for relationship, most importantly a relationship with Him.

If we want to have an authentic, life-giving relationship with Christ, we must pray. Without prayer, we cannot know Him the way He desires us to.

On the most basic level, prayer is how we increase our faith, become more mature in our interior life, and foster a spiritual communion with our brothers and sisters. On a deeper level, prayer is more of a conversation. It’s a back-and-forth between us and God about our experiences, our feelings, and God’s movement through it all. You can’t be close friends with someone without having regular conversations with them. If we want to be close friends with God, we must spend time with Him—relating our highs and lows, being vulnerable with Him, and sharing our very selves with Him. 

You might ask: God already knows everything going on with me, so what is the point of daily prayer? While it’s true that God already knows what is going on in our lives, telling him ourselves isn’t about sharing information; it’s about intimacy. For us, His creatures, to find intimacy with our heavenly Father, we have to open up to Him. God invites us to prayer so we can experience that relationship with Him in a way that goes beyond the superficial.

To foster that intimacy and develop a deeper relationship with God, we invite you to pray every day for at least 30 minutes total. It’s easy to resist prayer; it could be because we don’t know how to pray, or because we fear God might not listen unless we do it perfectly, or because we are afraid to reveal our holes. If we want Christ central in our lives, we must intentionally and authentically spend time with Him in prayer each day.

While there are many different forms of prayer and meditation, a tried-and-true approach to prayer is the ARRR method. Also referred to as “the pirate prayer,” ARRR is an acronym that stands for Acknowledge, Relate, Receive, and Respond. Let’s explore each of these steps more carefully:

A: Acknowledge. Begin with this beautiful reality: In this moment, God is with you. He is present. He is already waiting to have a close conversation with you. With this awareness, acknowledge where you are before God. What are you feeling? Name those feelings. What is happening in your life that is causing you to feel that way? We can also ask: What am I thinking right now? What’s moving in my heart? What do I desire? Do not be afraid of your own heart and feelings! You do not have to ignore or justify your anxiety, stress, and fears. Rather, acknowledge that what you are feeling is real so you can face your own heart with Jesus.

R: Relate. The next step is to tell Him everything! Resist dwelling on your thoughts and feelings; bring them to Him directly, one-on-one, and be radically real. If you’re disappointed with God, or angry, or sad, or fearful, tell Him. We might think that admitting we’re angry or disappointed with God is a sign of disrespect, but there is nothing disrespectful about being honest. Share everything and hold nothing back.⁠ And don’t stick with the bad things; focus on the good things, too. We tell our friends when good things happen to us—so bring that to God too. He delights in sharing in your delight.

R: Receive. If prayer is like a conversation, it goes both ways. The key to receiving what God wants to share back is to listen. Be still; it could be a subtle voice you hear. Notice what moves in you: new thoughts, fresh desires, memories, lines from Scripture, etc. How is God inviting you to come closer to Him?⁠ If you feel like He isn’t speaking, that’s okay—it’s not that you’ve done anything wrong, or that God doesn’t have anything to share. But God speaks in His way, and in His time. Trust in Him. He is going to give you everything you need, and in this trust, you will receive peace, grace, and the tools to enter into any circumstance.

⁠R: Respond. What we receive from God through prayer is a gift—and when we get gifts, we show our gratitude. Responding to what God has shared—with joy, with more conversation, with some action, etc.—is how to translate our prayer into spiritual fruit, nurtured through how we live our lives.⁠ It can be as simple as saying “I love you, Lord” at the end of your conversation. This final step in prayer is an invitation to return to God our trust, joy, gratitude, and humility. Let’s respond to Christ by glorifying Him in our thoughts, words and actions. Let’s respond to the invitation you’re receiving at this very moment. 

⁠Each and every one of us is invited to live in relationship with Jesus and increase our faith. When we invite Jesus into the depths of our hearts and establish true intimacy through prayer, we create real relationship. In prayer, we are invited to taste again what we are truly made for. We are called to hear His voice and He longs to hear ours. So let’s invite Him in and recommit to spending real time with Him every day. Allow Jesus to meet you exactly where you are today. Let’s dig deeper into our faith by Acknowledging and Relating with the light of the Holy Spirit so that we can more fully Receive and Respond to Christ.