Three ways to Move from Loneliness to Communion
It’s not enough that more than half of American adults experience measurable levels of loneliness, something that the Surgeon General has now deemed an “epidemic.” We’re continually reminded of our isolation in small but persistent ways.
Maybe it’s the weekly screen report we get. Do we dread looking at how much time we spent scrolling, alone with our phones? Or maybe it’s a message from Netflix. The television show we’re watching pauses. “Still watching?” it asks, nudging us to consider that we’re in the middle of a binge.
Or it could just be a survey of our social calendar. How long has it been since we’ve gotten together with friends or family members? Have we had any incoming or outgoing phone calls or are we just texting and DMing?
Whatever the signs might be, they can also be seen as invitations to examine how connected we feel to our community and what we can do to strengthen our relationships. After all, loneliness has a downstream effect on our wholeness and holiness. “It is not good that the man should be alone,” the Lord tells us (Gen 2:18).
We know this to be true from our work within Reform. Isolation takes a toll on the mind, body, and soul.
Loneliness and isolation increase the risk for heart disease, stroke, dementia, premature death, and other serious health conditions. They are also associated with increased stress and a greater susceptibility to other physical and mental disorders, including cancers.
But there is hope. If you are struggling with loneliness or lacking community, the first step to take is to increase your sense of connection—with God, with yourself, and with other people.
At Reform, we know that illness becomes wellness when I becomes we.
Connect with God
If we want to experience the richness and life-giving blessings of a Christ-centered community, we must first begin at the source. Our most important relationship is with God; He is always there accompanying us. “I am with you always, to the close of the age,” Jesus promises his disciples (Mt 28: 20). When we recognize that we are never truly alone, we can better receive God’s gifts and graces. The best way to connect with God is through prayer. St. Teresa of Avila, one of Reform’s patronesses, says that prayer “is nothing else than a close sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with Him who we know loves us.”
We recommend building up to 30 minutes of silent prayer a day and encourage you to go at your own pace.
2. Connect with yourself
While it may seem counter-intuitive, another way to help build connection is to spend quality time with ourselves—away from the distractions and noise—and consider what it is we bring to the table. Taking the time to reflect on our gifts as well as the areas in our lives that we’d like Jesus to heal and strengthen only helps us to more peacefully and confidently engage with the people God entrusts to us or puts in our path. Solitude and recollection are necessary precursors to connection. The Lord commands us to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Mk 12:31). We must know ourselves before we can love ourselves.
3. Connect with others
Being intentional about finding community, building friendships in Christ, and investing in life-giving relationships are important because we are made to live in communion with others. We need people. People are medicine for our whole-person well-being.
As you look to build or strengthen your relationship with others, we encourage you to ask Jesus to help you find people who remind you of who you are and who you were made to be. At Reform, we encourage you to consider which relationships leave you feeling drained, unmotivated and unknown, and which ones encourage, empower, and fill you with joy.
Everyone has something to offer, and we are made to use our God-given gifts and charisms for the sake of one another. If we are more receptive to Christ and are in tune with the unique ways we serve our community, we can be more open to connecting with and giving ourselves to others.
Community is essential—We are meant to be together, and we all share the same desire to be seen, heard, and known. God created us to live in relationship for a reason.
Community offers:
Motivation
Accountability
Collective wisdom
Support
A sense of belonging
Encouragement
Being seen and being known
Connection to others through faith, purpose, culture, and interests improves our longevity and well-being. Simply put: We need people.
As you begin your journey to strengthen connection and communion, we invite you to explore the services offered at Reform Wellness. Our foundation course, Reform Online, offers tools, education, best practices, and a community to support you in your journey toward whole-person health. We are here for you.
There is reassurance, wisdom, and great strength to be found in relationships—so consider reaching out today to someone whom you think may be more isolated and ponder what you have to bring to your community. Let's follow Christ's example by inviting others to "come and see" how life is better when lived in communion with one another.
