Give Yourself Permission

Sarah Swafford is a Catholic speaker and author who shares wisdom on dating, marriage, the moral and spiritual life, and Sacred Scripture. Sarah is also the author of Emotional Virtue: A Guide to Drama-free Relationships. Below, she shares her journey through and biggest takeaways from Reform Online and Dig to the Roots.

If you could boil it down to one sentence, how would you describe your journey through Reform Online and Dig to the Roots?

“Knowledge is power.” I know that sounds so cliché—but you can’t live out what you don’t know, and you can’t really dig deep and make meaningful changes until you take a step back and really look at the areas of your life that need to be reformed. Asking what God wants you to bring before Him and taking the time to do that was really one of the most important things that I learned. It was also one of the most challenging things. 

Challenging, indeed. What obstacles did you face in going through Reform, and what helped you overcome them?

The major obstacle I overcame was, I think, just committing to it. I was very blessed to have my husband and my children support me. They even asked me “Hey, how’s Reform going? Did you have a chance to do Reform today, or have you watched your classes this week?” They gave me accountability, and I was really grateful for that.

I also had Bobby and Jackie Angel as accountability partners for the highs and the lows of our Reform journey. I really recommend having a friend—or a spouse, a coworker, your kids, one of your parents—journey with you.

Did you make any significant lifestyle changes as a result of your Reform journey?

I gave myself permission to take time to heal. I gave myself permission to pray more and make healthier nutrition decisions and work out. I found out through Reform that I really struggle with the false idea that you have to earn play or you have to work hard to earn extra prayer time or sleep. As an American and as someone who comes from a family of achievers, it’s hard to not feel like you need to earn everything. But no: play and good health and sleep and good community—those are actually necessities, not extras.

“Give yourself permission”—it seems so simple, but it makes a big difference.

Just take the time you need; you’ll feel better when you do. That’s a huge takeaway as a busy mom: taking that extra prayer time, taking time to meal plan, taking time with people and not worrying that I’m not getting “X, Y, and Z” done—I’m just taking that time and watching God bless it. Even if everything didn’t get done or it’s not as “put together” as you want it to be, it’s still a net gain.

So, after Reform Online, you went on through Dig to the Roots, the gut-healing course. Following that experience, how do you feel, physically and spiritually?

I felt so much lighter. I actually lost about eight pounds by the end of it.  I felt like I had more energy. I felt more clear-headed. It helped my self-confidence and self-esteem. It also just helped me to feel like I could perform the things I need to do in my life in the normal day-to-day. 

Detox is real; those first couple of weeks were really hard—I felt pretty gross, really tired, and I could just tell there was a lot going on in my body, getting rid of toxins. But it was so great to come out the other side (which is a spiritual thing, as well, so in line with our spiritual life).Christ entered into all of the pillars for me.

What is one thing that has stuck with you since participating in Reform?

I really connected with the idea that you have to release to receive, and to create space to receive. The extra space and prayer time I took helped me.  Sometimes, as a “do-er,” you just go on autopilot and are always checking “What needs to be done next?” It’s hard to stop and sort out what’s most important.  But you can’t do it all—you can never do it all. Giving myself more grace, releasing those things into our Lord’s hands and resting in His Sacred Heart, and just being able to understand that not everything has to be done “right now” and that God will reveal to me what is most pressing . . . that was so significant to me, and practicing that was huge.

Saying “yes” to Jesus and placing Him at the center of all aspects of your health takes intentional commitment. Which of your accomplishments are you most proud of?

Definitely my sixty days with Dig to the Roots, going gluten-free, alcohol free, sugar free, dairy limited. I was really regimented, and it was hard. It felt like a long Lent, but I saw so much fruit from it and definitely will be doing it again in the future. It was a phenomenal fast, spiritually and physically. It was really hard, but worth it.

Have you had any other unexpected benefits to your well-being after Reform?

I found out I was pregnant the day after I completed Dig to the Roots. Jackie has been so wonderful and helpful. I’m really grateful that I have a healthy gut to welcome my baby with. What a gift from the Lord! I feel good and like I have more energy than I would have going into pregnancy. I feel like I struggled a bit with leaky gut before Reform, but now I feel a lot healthier and my gut feels a lot healthier.

What word best describes how you feel after completing Reform?
Mending. The reason I have the “-ing” at the end of it is that I feel like it is such a process and such a journey. We can never present ourselves to the Lord totally healed—that’s not the point. The point is to journey with Him and feel that constant ache and need for Him. We don’t have it all figured out, and we never will on this side of Heaven. It’s something good for recovering perfectionists like me to see that I’m mending, I’m healing, I’m putting things back together. It’s a process, and it’s a becoming. It’s really beautiful.

To wrap up, what’s one final thing you want to share with others about Reform?

I know there are probably a lot of moms out there who are like, “I couldn’t do that, I couldn’t take all that time, or I couldn’t spend those resources.” I totally get it. But like I say about a lot of things, you won’t regret doing it, but you might regret not doing it. I wish I would have done it earlier in my marriage and motherhood because I think it’s just adding tools to a toolbox that you will use forever. I feel like I know how to navigate my health better in a way that’s just healthier for me and my family. And I’m so grateful!